I wrote this in 2005. This was a time when i was just starting to get back into a relationship with the lord. I have always known him. But just like any other person who has walked on the face of the earh, as I got older, I prayed and talked to him less and less. In 2005, life started to be real. I got married, started a family, bought a house, etc. etc. Then something happened that made me a nervous wreck. I couldnt eat, sleep, interact with anyone. I was a shell of myself. I then started to wrtie my feelings on paper. It was soothing but still the sleepless nights came. It was then I asked my wife (girlfriend at the time to go to church with me). At church, I never felt so alive. How could i be so dumb and not allow myself these feelings for so long!!!
Sometime after thatr visit, I wrote this on my journal. I don’t remember exactly what i was feeling at the moment, but reading it still has a comforting effect on my soul. I do remember writing this after meditating on what God would be saying to me if we were face to face.
Please son, do not worry in life.
Always trust me, even though I am not in sight.
Problems & troubles continue to arise,
temptations & sin comes always as a surprise.
Remember that life is not always easy,
My son Jesus is the perfect example.
They laughed, hurt, & lied to him;
Yet, his love was endless and still.
He died on the cross for all of Man’s sins.
When the devil attacks you;
He will come at you from different angles.
Just remember to trust me;
And soon you’ll be in greener pastures.
I will never leave your side.
You are my son.
Surely a father always watches his son.
So tell me all your worries & worry no more.
7/13/2005
I know its not perfect. But it did its job in showing me God’s love that day. It shows me God’s love even now. I pray that it will help out somebody out there as well.
In Jesus Name,
AMEN
That is wonderful. I turned my back on the Lord 15 years ago, and since I have tried working out my anger towards him. I have been an atheist, but something has been pulling at me. I am not sure what it is, but I try to work through it via writing. I wish God would touch me as he has touched you. I suppose he rejected me when I was a child I am sure he will reject me as an adult
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I hope you don’t mind, but i subscribed to you blog. I would love to continue reading your entries and following you spiritual journey.
Writing indeed really helped me in coming back to Christ. More importantly though, the ACTION of going to church helped me more. I remember back in 2005 when my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I were getting ready to go to church. I was a nervous wreck. I was beyond nervous. I was thinking along the lines of…”what if i don’t find what I am looking for? What do I do now?” Well that’s been 6 years ago. I am not saying that i am one of those perfect Christians. I will be the first to admit that I am a human and by far not perfect. But i do trust that Jesus will always be there.
I would never “force feed” my faith to anyone. I believe that each must find their way to Christ. I do pray that you will reconnect with him again. I know that he misses you dearly. I know this because his book says so. I am looking forward to reading about your journey through life on your blog.
I hope you do not mind but i said a little prayer for you. I can relate to what you are going through. I pray that you find the peace and understanding that you are looking for.
Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be open unto you.” matthew 7:7
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Thank you. I have read the Bible a few times and Matthew and Revelations are by far my favorite
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