Tag Archives: understanding

God Breaks Me To Make Me Better

2018 was a year full of uncertainty. I was broken, I was confused, I was alone. Normally, that would break any person but not me. I was steadfast and held on to my faith. The reason is simple…I went thru the exact same thing from 2013 to 2015. During those “trying” years, I learned to trust and submit to God. I believe that 2018 was my test to see if I learned from past experiences. Today, I am in a position to be a positive influence in the lives of others and it’s because of God and the lessons he has given me.

Pain is temporary but the Grace of God is forever. PJSLB

Which Spirit Do You Feed In Your Body?

Found this online today and it was beautifully written that I had to share it with everyone. Nothing biblical in it but the message is the same. What you read, write, see, hear, and speak will always live within you. Like the Bible says…YOU CANNOT SERVE TWO MASTERS. The truth in your heart will always win out. Although life is hard, what is more hard is living a life and living with anger, jealousy, gree, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego.

Words and talk that I should live by as well. I really do struggle with resentment. I always replay moments in my life were people have wronged me or have taken advantage of me. I am always there for everyone and Lord knows when something is wrong in their lives, I am the one who is there. In my darkest moments or moments of celebration, I have been alone. What am I feeding my mind? Resentment. What do I need to let go off…resentment.

Do you worry about life?

I wrote this in 2005.  This was a time when i was just starting to get back into a relationship with the lord.  I have always known him.  But just like any other person who has walked on the face of the earh, as I got older, I prayed and talked to him less and less.  In 2005, life started to be real.  I got married, started a family, bought a house, etc. etc.  Then something happened that made me a nervous wreck.  I couldnt eat, sleep, interact with anyone.  I was a shell of myself.  I then started to wrtie my feelings on paper.  It was soothing but still the sleepless nights came.  It was then I asked my wife (girlfriend at the time to go to church with me).  At church, I never felt so alive.  How could i be so dumb and not allow myself these feelings for so long!!!

Sometime after thatr visit, I wrote this on my journal.  I don’t remember exactly what i was feeling at the moment, but reading it still has a comforting effect on my soul.  I do remember writing this after meditating on what God would be saying to me if we were face to face.

 

Please son, do not worry in life.

Always trust me, even though I am not in sight.

Problems & troubles continue to arise,

temptations & sin comes always as a surprise.

Remember that life is not always easy,

My son Jesus is the perfect example.

They laughed, hurt, & lied to him;

Yet, his love was endless and still.

He died on the cross for all of Man’s sins.

When the devil attacks you;

He will come at you from different angles.

Just remember to trust me;

And soon you’ll be in greener pastures.

I will never leave your side.

You are my son.

Surely a father always watches his son.

So tell me all your worries & worry no more.

7/13/2005

 

I know its not perfect.  But it did its job in showing me God’s love that day.  It shows me God’s love even now.  I pray that it will help out somebody out there as well.

 

In Jesus Name,

AMEN

This moment of clarity.

Thank you father for granting me a moment of clarity.  Tough I do not deserve anything I have, you have blessed me 100 times more than i truly deserve.  I am humble and ashamed. I lie, cheat, steal, break your commandments on an everyday basis, YET YOU ARE STILL THERE.  How great is your love that you would tolerate my actions!!!  My moment of clarity is that i now fully understand what you expect from me.  I have taken from you , without  giving back.  I have tremendous gifts and abilities, yet i do not use it to glorigy your name.

2011 is the year I glorify your name. This is going to be an amazing journey.  Through God anything is possible.  What surprises will be awaiting me on this journey.  I ask that you pray for me.  Pray that i may do my share in bring people to Jesus

 

In his name I live,

 

AMEN