I am feeling very anxious. My anxiety is high and I am worry about things that are absolute nonsense. I know my worries are nothing but my mind just takes it and goes a million miles an hour on what can go wrong. I am beginning to feel my heart beat like it’s picking up and getting ready to explode. Lord, please help me.
This evening, one of my dogs got out from a broken dense and has not returned. I am nervous and anxious. I feel so lost and not being in control is really getting to me. I have been praying and I give all to the lord. God will take care of it all. I leave it to you lord.
I wake up at 4:00 am to my heart racing a million miles. I have visions of EVERY problem I currently have. My job and finances have been In disarray since the pandemic. I also have visions of my next destination. I ask for strength and claim those visions as truth but it is tough.
I stay up at night asking for a sign.I get a a sign that reaffirms my visions, yet I still am unsure. Why did I become so weak in fair in this stage of my life?
This morning, I received an email that disturbed my heart and soul:
Back in 2016 I considered dying but I didn’t make a plan because I thought their was hope(and because of extreme stubbornness) but then in 2018 I nearly died. Now I’m thinking maybe I should have. Should have ended things before then. I should of made a plan in 2016.. strange thing is I only really considered it once.. I remember thinking things were hopeless many many times but I didn’t consider dying very much..
First of all, I thank God that you are here still. 2016 is about 5 years ago. You are not the same person! You are stronger! The pandemic has affected everyone. It has affected me. I have had plenty of sleepless nights and to this day, I worry. I also miss days of the past and I wish things were better like they were back then. Unfortunately, we cant go back. We take things and events day by day, having one foot go in front of the other. If you walk this earth, you have a purpose! To the person who left this comment; As a Christian, you have forever! Please take time to talk to someone. Talk to a family member, a friend, a colleague, etc. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. 800-273-8255
We are all in this together!
