2020 has been a crazy year. It’s also a year where people seem to be wanting answers. Answers about life, answers about family, answers about God, and answers about the future.I consider myself a person with deep faith in and unwavering faith yet in 2020 that has been really tested. Times like this I think of past victories, past blessings, and days where I’ve always felt God‘s love.
We all have to take a look in the mirror and be honest to ourselves. How would Jesus react to the way we are living today? How would he view out actions to one another?
My job has me surrounded by COVID-19 and it’s effects on people, relationships, and the community on a day-to-day basis. I see the numbers twice a day, I make phone calls about the pandemics effects. I have had friends, family members of friends, and friends of friends get COVID-19 and i have lost family members and friends to this pandemic. It’s beginning to take a toll on my mental health.
For the past week I have had one too many sleepless nights. My mind is just filled with everyone I’ve come across that has been affected by this pandemic. My anxiety is at an all time high. I worry about my health, my kids health, my family‘s health, and the health of everyone I hold dearly. If I had a regular job at least I would not have to see the effects of the pandemic on our society on a day-to-day basis. I could just block it out of my mind for a couple of days. Unfortunately, with where I am, that is not possible.
The past few days, I have prayed and conversed with the Lord like I haven’t in such a long time. I have also opened up with my family about how I feel and that has helped tremendously. The comfort I received was life changing.
If you are going through anything, please reach out and talk to someone. For me it was my family. The peace and comfort I got talking to my wife and kids was just the fuel I needed to continue what I am doing.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
The last few days I have had a hard time going to sleep. The pandemic and the anxiety it brings has finally hit me. I worry about my health, my family‘s health, my parents health, my loved ones health, my friends health.I worry about my job. I worry about what my kids have to go through. I worry about my wife and all that surrounds her. It got so bad that for the last few nights I have probably average 2 to 3 hours of sleep.
This has made me really search my faith to fine what is missing. And what I realized is for the longest time when things are bad I come to the Lord. Which is great, which is something that the Lord says he wants us to do. Thing is I can’t remember the last time I said thank you for everything I have received. I am there when I need something and I am not there in the good times and when I am content. This pandemic has now taught me too rejoice and be thankful for everything the good in the bad.